The Blog of Chris McAlister
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Your Phone Meets Your Needs While Your Kids Don’t
Some parents will miss their kid’s childhood.
The “like” they got on facebook makes them feel connected and worthy.
Their child’s request makes them feel tired.
When you learn to experience Christ giving you what you need at the core of who you are then you can put the phone down.
Ask Jesus to help you feel worth in Him. Ask Him to help you feel connected to Him.
You can use your phone like crazy when you need to. And you can look your kids or spouse in the eye. And really be there.
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What If You Could Learn And Remedy The Source Of All Your Marital Conflict?
You can.
I can promise big. And this event will still over-deliver.
- You will leave with a paradigm for your marriage that will facilitate a shift in how you see God and your spouse.
- You will learn why you have the same fights over and over.
- You will experience sessions that will be informal but deeply challenging, thought-provoking, and experiential.
- You will be able to quickly identify the key areas that are blocking your marriage from the intimacy you were designed to experience.
- You will relate out of overflow instead of fear.
- You will be able to love each other effectively for a lifetime.
It went live on Wednesday night. Almost half the tickets are gone.
Join me in an identity revolution for your marriage.
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The Source Of My Joy
Luke 10:17-20 17 The seventy-two returned with joy and said, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name.” 18 He replied, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. 19 I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. 20 However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”
The disciples were jacked about the mission. Jesus spoke a word of correction. He wanted to make sure they didn’t build their identity around mission. Instead their identity was built around their position in Christ.
I enjoy the mission. I am passionate about my work.
But the source of my joy is my identity. Who I am in Christ is the foundation of my life not what I do for Christ.
Has anyone ever taught you how to continually experience a secure identity in Christ? That’s my mission. Maybe one day I’ll see you at a Sightshift event.
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How A Small Fight Becomes A Big Fight (with your spouse and others)
Watch your next fight and tell me if this isn’t true:
1. One of you walks in the door.
But what you don’t realize is you’re feeling insecure. You feel guilty about something at home. Your boss made you feel something. At the core of who you are in your identity you are hurting and searching.
2. Your spouse mentions something harmless.
He could mention something about his trip to the grocery store. She could say something that needed to be done with the kids or around the house. A harmless comment is made. But…
3. You interpret the comment in light of your insecurity.
They are sharing information. You hear the confirmation of you greatest fear without them saying anything negative: “You suck. Can’t you do anything right?” OR “You will betray me. I know you will leave me.” And on and on I could go. They aren’t saying this but you hear it because of your hurts, pains, and fears.
4. Now the fight is on. And it’s because of something in your heart not something they said.
What causes conflict? Selfishness. You want your spouse to meet a need you feel insecure about. All of this happens underneath the surface.
Run to Christ. Ask Him to help you know what you really want. Receive. Fight less.
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Most Quit. Here’s How To Keep Going:
Want resiliency? Learn to separate who you are from what you do. You will be unstoppable.
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Call Me Cynical But Claiming A Belief Is Useless
Intimacy with Christ isn’t about trying harder.
It’s not about hyping your faith.
It’s not about repeating a verse in an attempt to claim it as truth.
It’s about learning to receive the truth. We don’t enter God’s kingdom unless we come as children. Not childish. But childlike.
What if I saw my kids walking around the house repeating to themselves: “I claim the fact that my dad loves me.” If they looked distressed and I could tell they didn’t feel what they were saying then I would address their need. I wouldn’t expect them to claim or hype. I would want them to receive my hug.
Christ came to bring us an abundant, eternal, and internal life with Him that meets the core needs of who we are. Receive.
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Why You Waste Your Weekend
You’re in a job you hate.
You’re in a relationship that is full of pretense and proving.
And you’d like to spend the next day or two recovering so you can handle Monday.
What if the way you see things is wrong? What if your sight could shift and everything would look different?
A sightshift retreat happened yesterday. (update: Actually it was last week. Got my posting date wrong.) Christ wants to unleash YOU. Who you are in Him changes everything else.
You could waste your weekend or let the below haunt you to settle for nothing less than transformation.
“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens
for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide
you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life
spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.“
- Howard Thurman (1900-1981) -
1 Idea To Unblock Your Growth
Life is not what happens to me, life is what happens in me.
Your responses to your circumstances are shaping you. Your character is formed by your responses.
When crap happens and you perceive your identity or core takes a hit then life is happening to you.
What blocks your growth is that you want your circumstances to meet a need only Christ can.
When you go to Christ for your needs then you are secure. Life happens in you. Then you are not a victim of your circumstance. You have clarity to move in the midst of uncertainty. You make decisions out of an overflow of abundance and wisdom.
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Identity And Branding
Our BS meters are highly developed.
We’ve been sold and oversold.
A company’s brand can be revolutionized when they are relaxed in their identity and stop marketing defensively. If they have to work to prove it then they don’t really believe it. Think about that in today’s staff meeting.
And then connect it to who you are. Let what you see so easily at work help you connect the dots to your own transformation.
When you are relaxed in your identity then you don’t have to prove. Then you aren’t defensive. And who you are flows into what you do with a natural ease.
The battle isn’t over what you do. It’s not over your brand. It’s over who you are. The enemy screams through lies. Christ whispers. May you hear the whisper of Christ: “You are mine regardless of what you do.” Be free.
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Do You Do Your Work To Feel Better About Yourself?
Most people look to their mission or work to meet an internal need.
When Christ meets that need you can be secure in Him. Then you are free to do work/mission you love. You don’t have to do work/mission you think you need just so you can feel successful. (Not that it doesn’t take time to transition
Kids still have to eat.)