Chris McAlister
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Hope For New Year’s Resolutions (And How To Avoid Shallow Christianity) – pt 1
Most of our new year’s resolutions are fraught with problems. For example we attempt to big of a change rather than breaking it up into small pieces.
BUT the biggest reason our resolutions fail is related to our identity.
We are drawn to change something about our lives we feel bad about. (Budget, Health, Destructive/Abusive Relationship)
I want you to get underneath your motivation for change. You may have never said or even thought this but for many it works this way:
You feel overweight. You want to change your health so you can accept yourself.
Hating something about yourself isn’t a healthy motivation for change.
Here’s hope:
1. You are accepted by God through Jesus. Receive it by surrendering who you are to Him and inviting Him into all of who you are.
2. Let His love for you be foundational. But the second layer of who you are is love for yourself based on His love. (Jesus said to love yourself so you can love your neighbor.)
I’m afraid that many times Christianity is taught and preached in a way that encourages people to make changes so God will accept them. This is false teaching. Your acceptance by God has nothing to do with your performance…ever…but instead it is the perfect performance of Christ.
Thoughts?
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Why This Tribe Must Spread
That video was recorded in May 2010. And my passion has only grown. So has the precision of the process.
There needs to be a voice in the wilderness proclaiming this message.
I wrestled for years with questions like “What is the most precise way to define transformation for the Christian?” “How does Jesus make a difference in our lives that is different from someone who pursues another religion yet becomes more peaceful and loving?” I wrestled these and many others questions down to the ground in the midst of a multi-year desert. I scraped the bottom of my soul so you don’t have to. (Ultimately Jesus did that for us both
)What emerged is the identity, mission, and community paradigm. A secure identity in Jesus overflows to a clear mission and attracts/builds community. This is the process the Father used to build the Son. It’s the same He’ll use for you.
But it didn’t stop there. A process emerged that helped people discern where the enemy was seeking to thwart this process the Father uses. The retreats became the vehicle to help this process become “concrete” in the soul. My goal was to have a process that could articulate the transformation that is laid out for us in scripture with the precision of the academy, insight of a sage, and the passion of a practicioner.
- As I watch Christian masculinity be defined in terms of UFC fighting and aggressiveness I anguish. I see desperate men who are trying to prove something to the world. They are in need of the gospel of Jesus to be experienced in their core fears.
- As I watch Christian leadership emphasize excellence I anguish. I see desperate leaders who are trying to prove to the world their worthiness. They are in need of the gospel to do a deep work in their hearts so they are content to overflow.
- As I watch Christian business leaders search desperately for mission I anguish. I see desperate men and women who are hardwired for action. They are longing to connect the dots between who they are and what they are to do in the world.
- As I watch Christian ladies be defined in terms of the global scandal of image management I anguish. I see desperate women who are longing to experience Christ as the defining reality of their lives over any other relationship they have.
There is a life that is free of proving, judging, suffocating under felt inadequacies, pretenses, and hurts. This life is possible. I’m dedicating mine to make sure you experience that reality.
Hope to see you at an event sometime soon.
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Why There’s A Crisis In Fatherhood
You know it’s there right?
Look around. It doesn’t matter the socio-economic status…Fatherhood is in a crisis.
Science says it’s because the father can abandon their kids easier than the mother. There may be some truth to the biology at work in these situations.
But there’s a deeper reason…
Men have been taught to bury, disregard, and ignore their feelings.
Fathers are notoriously emotionally distant from their wives and children because they are emotionally distant from themselves.
Sadly this is the worst advice.
1. Your emotions make you human.
2. They are messages to your soul from God.When you understand this and learn to invite Christ into your emotions…
- you don’t have to get easily threatened by a comment from your wife that had no negative intent
- you don’t have to get anxious when your teenage daughter begins to individuate
- you don’t have to run…you don’t have to run…you don’t have to runAbuse of alcohol to over-working are a terrible substitute for being present and being with your self/family.
Comments?
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Why You Aren’t Being Transformed
The promise of Scripture is that we are transformed from one level of glory to another.
I would describe few as experiencing that kind of catalytic growth.
But it is possible. And that kind of growth should be the standard. 2 reasons it isn’t the standard:
1. We avoid our hard questions.
The hard questions are the clues to our growth. The very things that you want to hide from others are the places you can experience the most growth. Stop stuffing. Come out of hiding.
2. We think perseverance applies to an internal brokenness.
Perseverance in Scripture is about enduring external hardships. We may face seasonal, internal deserts but the CONSISTENT reality of our Christian experience should be joy. Stop persevering with your internal misery. Admit the hurt. Invite Jesus into the hurt.
Comments?
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Why There Are So Many Wounded Christians
Look around. It doesn’t take long. There a number of people that love Jesus that have a hard time relating to the church.
I should know. It’s a miracle I still pastor. I didn’t go to church for about 5 months during one spell.
The reason that there are so many wounded Christians is that there are lots of wounded Christian leaders. Hurting people hurt people.
Choices:
1. We can become cynical and jaded. We can bash churches and leaders.
2. We can be naive. Deny the pain. Hype ourselves that they are leaders so we should submit to their leadership and move on.3. Let the wounds that have been inflicted draw us closer to Jesus.
The church has never had a golden age and never will on this side of eternity. Leaders will hurt people less as they are transformed. But hurt will still occur. Let’s smash the pedestals and stay focused on Jesus inviting Him into our pain.
Comments?
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Just One
Today…let yourself experience a secure community built on a secure identity.
Share 1 fear about your felt inadequacy with 1 safe person. Just one. Call yourself out and come out of hiding.
Thoughts?
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Why Married People Have Affairs
Allow me to translate:
“I feel like I’m myself with you.”
“You make me feel alive for the first time in a long time.”
“I feel like I’ve found myself when I’m with you.”Really means…I’ve lost touch with who I am. I’ve numbed out. There’s a part of me that you help bring awareness to.
It may not be limited to extra-marital affairs. It maybe a destructive habit. But here’s how it happened:
1. Your soul was disturbed. Questions surfaced. You began to fantasize about what could/should be about your life.
2. You kept on punching the clock and going through the motions.
3. Your soul shriveled. One day at a time. You lost touch with who you are.
4. The part of you that was killed off is awakened by that person or habit.You can choose now to dive deep into no.1 and explore who you are. Spelunk your soul.
OR you can become a hollowed out shell. Then after the false excitement of the affair wears off you’ll find you still face the same problems with your identity.
Invite Jesus into your questions. Even if you’re having the affair, it’s not too late.
Comments?
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Identity And Work Happiness- pt4
We all judge. We all read motives into others that aren’t there.
Hopefully our life trajectory is on a track to do that less and less.
Nothing will destroy and kill your ability to enjoy relationships at work like judging others.
You spend a lot of time with these people. Wouldn’t it be better to see them as people? Broken. Hurting.
Receive grace in Jesus for yourself. Pass it on them.
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Identity And Work Happiness- pt3
Frustrations. Coworkers.
Got somebody in mind?
When you drop the need to prove you can be aware of the frustrations you have towards those you work with.
Let’s not be shallow. Drill deep on why they frustrate you.
Why does their inadequacy have to frustrate you and steal your joy?
Because you’re depleted. When you have nothing to prove to them you can approach them differently. You can approach them from the overflow of who you are in Jesus rather than scraping bottom trying to suck something from their soul.
This isn’t pink ponies and fairy tale hype.
1. Focus on how you feel towards that coworker.
2. Isolate one action in your mind you can do to see them as a human being with struggles.
3. Do that action to serve them.When your identity is secure in Jesus you can overflow to the world.
Comments?
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Identity And Work Happiness- pt2
pt 1 here
As it pertains to work…a secure identity in Jesus will either:
1. Light your contribution at work on fire. You will blaze with clarity and confidence in who you are in Christ and how your mission overflows to the world.
2. Give you direction about what preparation you need to make so you can shift into passionate work.For some of you it’s not that you need to change careers.
-Find a way to know your fears and pain. Name them.
-Invite Jesus to teach you and show you how He heals them.
-Let that healing flow through you to others. I know you hurt. Where you hurt now is where you will help heal others later.There’s a big difference between a firefighter who rescues others to prove his worth to the world and a firefighter who rescues others because the rescue he receives in Jesus makes him worthy.
The isn’t cliche Christianity. One works to get. One works to give. One has energy and clarity to lead well at home and work. One is confused and hurting.
One needs work to feel whole. (I used to be that guy.)
Comments?