Chris McAlister
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Secret to why many aren’t motivated to change…
Most Christian preaching I hear and most Christians I know live from guilt. I “should” do this or that. Jesus claims to be the only way for life. What if our choices were less about what we should do and more about what we have to do so we can embrace life? What difference is Jesus making? John Townsed and Henry Cloud argue this on page 239 of How People Grow.
They produce a list of what it looks like to choose life. Here it is…
- They see honesty not just as a virtue, but as the only way they will ever have intimacy.
- They see facing pain and suffering not as something that their counselor wants them to endure, but as the only way out of a depression or an addiction.
- They see confession and ownership of their faults not as something humiliating and guilt inducing, but as the way to grow and reach their goals.
- They see listening to feedback and correction, not as someone telling them they are bad, but as receiving a gift that is going to bring them life.
- They see living a life of sexual purity not something they should do to avoid God’s being mad at them, but as the only way to find satisfying love.
- They see forgiveness of others not as a law, but as a path to freedom and reconciliation.
Choose life. Not because you should but because you want to. Live from your heart. Live from your desire.
Any others you’d add?
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My secret– I need a-muse
What do you do to stay motivated? When the chips are down and you need to bring a superhuman effort what keeps you inspired?
For me it changes. For years in a challening work situation I reminded myself of a story about a discus. It motivated me that one day I would fly faster and farther.
Some times it’s music. A piece of art. One piece of motivation for me right now is a picture from a movie. Ever seen The Pursuit of Happyness with Will Smith? Remember the scene where he’s in the subway bathroom with his son? Man. That movie is my muse right now. I have a picture from that movie on my desktop. Motivation to make one more call. Motivation to read one more page. In the last few days I’ve read 3 books for my doctorate and talked to over 40 people on the phone about the business I’m involved in. Right now my girls are sleeping in their bed while I type this on their floor and I want to join them. But not yet. I’ve got a goal to hit. Everyday for the next ten days. Read a book for school. Write postcards for the business.
So…go to an antique store. Buy a new CD. Change your deskstop.
What motivates you?
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An email I sent out today…
Hey everyone,
I wanted to update you (Brandi thought I should email everybody) on a few new developments and ask you to pray with us.
1. Our house still hasn’t sold in Hot Springs. That’s got all the finances pretty messed up. Ahh the humility.
2. When I came to Discovery Church they had been in decline for years. I thought we had about a year to turn the ship. We believed God led us here and we laid out on paper what daunting task lied ahead. We haven’t quite made the turn. We now have a stabilized core but finances have necessitated I go half-time effective this past Monday. As we grow my salary will be reinstated.
3. We are staying in Columbus. We are called to live here. My family is putting down roots and they are constantly deepening. I feel like I was born to live in Ohio.
4. My heart feels kind of weird. To say life is working out differently than I thought would be an understatement. There are many blessings (relationship with Brandi and my girls) and challenges. I feel like an embarrassed failure (debbie downer) but I am optimistic about what lies on the other side of the valley.
5. I am pumped about starting a Doctor of Ministry program in a week and a half. I’m very excited about the content I’ll be learning. I feel more personal change than in a long time fueled by a lot of what I’ve learned through my reading for this program and our current life circumstances.6. I’ve known this could possibly happen with the church finances for some time. Because of that I pursued a business opportunity that seemed to Brandi and me like a gift from God. (Trust me, with our past we’re very skeptical of those now.) Driving home Monday I was like, “Lord if I’m wasting my time with this business. I need to know. I’ve got to feed my family.” Boom. Opened the mailbox when I got home and I’d gotten my second check. I’ve literally spoken with about 25 people in the last two days that are interested in being a part of this opportunity. I know you’re friends but don’t judge me. A man’s gotta do what a man’s do. So here’s the shameless plug. If any of you live in OH, MI, GA, NY, TX go to ________________ and look at locking in your utility rate. If it can help you great. Then it will also help me. Win. Win. If any of you want to do what I’m doing with this business ____________
*(Websites were deleted for this blog from the email due to a voluntary agreement I suggested with our church leadership concerning lines of separation.)*
7. I’ve considered starting a coaching/counseling ministry for a couple years. The desire has grown and grown. Others have affirmed my gifting for this. My doctorate would allow a greater platform for it. The problem was that I didn’t have a strong vision/burden from God on what He wanted to do with it. One Sunday morning it was a lightning bolt of inspiration. That doesn’t happen very often so I paid attention. The whole thing would launch with a book that crystallizes the most important thing God has been teaching me through the last few years. I’ll send a link out when that gets going.Thanks for your prayers and long-distance community
Pass along any “words of wisdom” or encouragement.
Peace
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Are you celebrated?
You remember being a kid and saying, “watch this!” You wanted someone, typically that you cared about, to see you accomplishing some feat or admiring your strength/skill. We want the same as we grow up. Left unchecked it could be dangerous. But for the most part it’s a good part of the way God made us. We want to be affirmed for handling that crisis well, keeping the laundry done, and using our gifts to bless others.
I’ve thought about the idea of celebration over the last year. When we moved over a year ago a friend told me, “you will be celebrated not just tolerated.” Cool though and it rhymes
Yesterday I walked in the door, feeling a little down as that celebration thing (enjoying results or fruitfulness of my gifts) hasn’t been working out like I’d hoped. When I came in the door I heard, “Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!” It hit me like a laser. I am celebrated and it comes from the most important people in my life. -
Chris McAlister’s truck
No, I don’t have a truck. No, I don’t want one. I just feel like having a little fun with my blog today. (Because it’s Friday and I’m going to a Brian Regan show with the church I pastor tonight!) The reason this will be fun is because this blog gets two different sets of traffic. One is made up of those that know me or search the internet for parenting, leadership, and psychology. They play around, read some stuff, and then go about their lives hopefully helped by content they find here.
The other group is on a specific search for a different person, Chris McAlister the NFL player. Apparently he has a pretty awesome truck because the top search term that leads people to this site (other than those looking for me) is Chris McAlister’s truck. By posting truck in the title it’s like putting a big sign on the internet freeway. Maybe some will do more than just drive-thru
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tough times
I know a lot of people are struggling financially right now. It got me thinking about my role as provider in our family. The first needs I have to meet are:
1. Food and Shelter
2. then Presence.
People have to sacrifice #2 sometimes to meet #1. This really clarifies things. You don’t sacrifice #2 for a better car, better vacation, _____________, etc.
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What I’m doing right now…
Ashlynn started school this week (at home). We’re doing Ohio Virtual Academy if you’re familiar with that program. Bran did an amazing job creating a real school room. It feels official. Letters, seasons, days of the week on the wall. Globe on the countertop. Madi and Brae have their own little space to feel apart of the school day where they can color and do puzzles. I’m thankful for her education degree. She’s trying to teach me how to teach and it isn’t going so good.
(yes, for all you teachers it’s “well” – that’s why I’m thankful for her passion to teach. Good is good enough for me!) -
Shhh!
It’s been a quiet week around here. Don’t worry, I haven’t fallen off the bloggin’ wagon. I have been reminded of my humanity. Last week I burned the candle at both ends and have worked through most of the last few weekends. It was necessary work to get ready for school and some side projects. All that to say, I have been tired in the evenings and thoroughly enjoyed vegging and watching the different levels of communicators at the DNC. The best feeling is that it’s Thursday morning and my message is almost finished for our month out creativity meeting. Ahhhh. Yesterday’s early morning paid off. And I am pumped about this message as it will kick off our 2 part series to prepare for Encounter ’08. (Discovery Church, more details to come. Make sure you block off Oct 10 -11 in the evening. You’ll be so glad you did.)
What the most important thing you need to get done today?
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I am THAT dad
One was on his blackberry emailing. One was laid back and observing. Another was mildly involved, evidenced by the occassional cheer. And one was yelling like crazy, running the field on the sidelines in tandem with their child. I am that dad. The time flew by. It was too much fun. It was my first game to observe one of my children in an organized sport. Notice who the event was really about. Seriously, can you blame me? It’s upward soccer so they don’t keep score. (But I did
) 2 to 2. My oldest scored both goals for her team. She attempted 4 or 5 other goals. No one else on her team could hardly run while kicking the ball. I kid you not, one man asked, “Who is that girl? Has she played before?” My chest swelled.Now before you judge me. Our oldest loves to excel. I emphasized performance doesn’t mean acceptance. But the way she gets into it, man, watch out. I’ve been bitten.
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productivity schmoductivity
I can focus with great intensity and accomplish a lot of tasks. I’ve just been that way for as long as I can remember. That can make me uptight. (People that know me are laughing…can and does.) For years I’ve looked for ways to keep my productivity at its peak. Now I don’t care as much about the quantity I get done. It’s more about getting the right things done. Someone asked me a question couple of years ago, that’s helped with this journey. “You’re focused, but are you centered?” In other words, you can get stuff done, Chris, but are you…
- doing the right task
- in the right attitude/motive
- with a natural timing/rhythm as opposed to forcing
On that note a commercial for tomorrow: Recent circumstances over the last year have hampered my ability to focus. I’ll share some tools I use that have helped me stay refocus and centered.
