Chris McAlister
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God…With Benefits
If my children are hurting for comfort I want them to come to me.
God feels the same toward us.
At the starting point of our relationship with God through Christ we come because we need Him. And that is fine. NEVER let a spiritual leader shame you for coming to God because you need His comfort.
And over time you learn to come to God just for Him…and you still get all you really need from Him.
Everything I am saying over and over sounds so revolutionary some of you wonder if I’m a heretic. That might make me smile…
“Never want whilst thou hast a God to go to; never fear or faint whilst thou hast God to help thee; go to thy treasure and take whatever thou needest-there is all that thou canst want. Learn the divine skill of making God all things to thee. He can supply thee with all, or, better still, he can be to thee instead of all.” Charles Spurgeon
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3 Roles for Biblical Manhood- pt3
pt. 1 here
pt. 2 here
Lean into the multi-faceted biblical picture of masculinity.
3. KingLead yourself and your family with a long-term view of what’s best for them and God’s glory. A king rules. A good king rules for the benefit of those he is serving. A good king serves to give his family not get from his family. A good king gets what he needs from Christ and gives good leadership out of the overflow.
The King:
a. makes decisions from a place of self-sacrifice
b. cares for his own heart (emotionally and physically) to lead from an overflow of life and health
c. listens to his wife as a trusted advisor and co-ruler/co-equal
Be the king.
A man secure in his identity in Christ can move in and out of these 3 roles (prophet, priest, and king) based on the need around them.
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In Awe Of The People Around Me
If your life is a reflection of the people you spend the most time with then I’m set.
I will leave somebody out. But my heart has felt so full this past week:
When Brandi asked if she could help me with late night final grading. (After homeschooling three kids and fixing a deluxe supper.)
When Ashlynn found 10 bucks and told me to give to our compassion child we support.
When Braelynn let her spunk fly…one more time.
When Madi gave me a lingering hug.
When Eric led our elder and stewardship team meeting. His 30000 foot view is on target. When Ben pastored so beautifully. When Bryan called to say thanks. When Trent was willing to do whatever it takes. Again. When Diane brought her heart for kids in the midst of the transition of family moving out. When Ryan met me for breakfast because he knew I wanted to. When Will was concerned for his friend. (Discovery Church is in good hands.)
When Discovery celebrated God and His Word spontaneously on Sunday.
When Adam blew my mind with his layered understanding of who the Eremos Group really is. When Tim took time in a Hong Kong airport to connect for our meeting. (I was so jacked from their wisdom and passion I couldn’t fall asleep.)
When the Cap students send messages letting me know what God is doing in their lives.
Regardless of performance I love these people for who they are. I hold immense wealth because I get to do life with them.
I am at a Sightshift retreat today. (Formerly know as Peak Performance but that’s a story for another day.
) And yes Brad…wish you here! It isn’t the same if you’re not.I am thankful for the gift to enjoy the journey more than the destination. I hope the same for you. Peace!
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3 Roles for Biblical Manhood- pt2
pt. 1 here
Lean into the multi-faceted biblical picture of masculinity.
2. PriestPosition your family to experience God’s presence. Pray over them. Nurture them. Nurture their hearts and emotions. God asks in Scripture if He can forget His children like a mother would forget a baby at her breast? Jesus longs to gather Jerusalem like a hen gathers chicks. God is comfortable with demonstrating the masculine and feminine. We are created in God’s image. Male and female. As priests men learn to bring the softer side of their personhood and skill set to serve others.
The priest:
a. prays over his family in their presence
b. follows Christ passionately to lead the way in surrender and holiness
c. allows his emotions to guide his nurturing and sensitivity to the hurt around him
Be the priest.
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Not Wearing A Mask Is Foolish
We are not fake. Nor are we jerks. We are free. We are free to wear masks and pick up personas when we need them. That way the persona or mask can serve us instead of us serving the mask.
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3 Roles for Biblical Manhood- pt1
We know we face a crisis of manhood.
We face extremes. We have Ray Barone on one side. Whiny, unaware, and a buffoon. To the other extreme we have an overly aggressive punch-you-in-the-face masculinity that is more and more celebrated in the church. This extreme is more what the disciples of Jesus wanted but NEVER got.
Neither capture the identity of Jesus. Neither capture the identity of manhood in Christ.
Lean into the multi-faceted biblical picture of masculinity.
1. Prophet
Bring truth. Bring the timely word from God. Bring the warning. Bring the rebuke. Bring the hope of restoration. Bring the permission to ask God, “Why?” The messages of the prophets in Scripture can be summarized by 3 messages: Why are you using pagan nations to discipline your children? Israel, you will lose the land. Israel, you will be restored. The 3 messages the prophet has to his family are in line with these messages. Speak these 3 messages:
a. Permission to protest ANYTHING to God.
b. Warnings of a life lived away from Shalom with God through Jesus and shalom with others.
c. Promises of hope and restoration. God works all things for God. No condemnation for those in Jesus. He restores.
Be the prophet.
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The Necessary Factor For Healthy Relationships
It’s not about them changing.
It’s about you changing. Or receiving Christ’s love so that it changes you.
When you stop trying to change others and getting upset about who they are you can look at yourself.
What causes wars and fights among you? Selfishness. You’re trying to get from somebody else what only Jesus can give you.
Ask Jesus for clarity on what you really want from others. Ask Him to show you how He gives that to you. A secure identity will cultivate healthy relationships free of manipulation and dysfunction.
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How To Set Yourself Up For Disillusionment In Ministry
Connect with someone who is passionate about serving Christ and ministry.
Connect with someone that doesn’t know how to process who they are separately from what they do.
Let someone disciple you through what they model...building their identity around mission.
And because life is caught more than taught…
1. Launch out in your ministry career full of ambition.
2. Experience success.
3. Feel amazing.
4. Seek to repeat no. 2.
5. Fail.
6. Become cynical and jaded OR learn how to experience your identity in Christ separate from ministry.
Your life can be dramatically different whether I can connect with you at no. 1 or no. 6. But if we can connect at no. 1 it will save you some unnecessary pain. Join me.
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How To Be Laser-Focused In Your Mission
Are you tired of searching for your purpose, direction, and mission?
You are focusing your energy in the wrong place.
Do this:
1. Learn where you are insecure in your identity.
2. Ask Christ to show you how He answers that need.
3. Where He brings you life pour that into others. (There’s your mission. You may or may not change jobs. But your motivation changes. Pour into your kids and spouse the way Christ pours into you.)
4. Say no to the rest.
I help people make this progression all the time. It’s not easy. And there’s a lot more sentences that go under each of those numbers. But you get the point.
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2 Ways To Oppose Transformation
Or 2 ways to be a Pharisee
Please understand…
the Pharisees thought they were doing the right thing.
The Israelites lost their land and went into exile for breaking the covenant. The Pharisees were determined to see the restoration the prophets promised.
The Pharisees thought they would bring God’s kingdom through their obedience. (Feel free to make any connection to those that replace Israel with America in the Old Testament and misread it.) The group that should have welcomed Christ as He ushered in God’s kingdom actually opposed Christ and demanded his crucifixion.
It’s easy to be a Pharisee. Here’s a gut check to see if you might be one:
1. Your idea of discipleship is completing a checklist.
As a pastor I have to be careful to make sure the emphasis isn’t on joining a small group or serving. Instead the focus of my energy needs to be on helping others hear from Christ. His gentle whisper will be louder than my yell. Don’t rob people of the new covenant. Pharisaical obedience misses the point of the new covenant. You receive as a child your relationship with Christ. You don’t strive to get in good with God.
2. You build your identity around your beliefs.
You spend lots of energy on the finer points of your theology. You have a relationship with your beliefs. You nurture and care for them. You worship the gospel as a message but don’t experientially know Jesus. You’re stuck because your relationship with God can’t grow and develop unless it fits within the bounds of what you already believe. What if you read the gospels and pray: “Jesus help me build my identity around you and lead me to my beliefs.” Then read Paul, the prophets, and Moses. See, hear, and feel Christ like never before.