Chris McAlister
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honest about the bottom line- pt2
pt 1: here
Knowing your motives will help you be honest about the bottom line.
We all fool ourselves.
The greatest way we fool ourselves is not being honest about why we want that relationship, job, house, extra income, or opportunity.
We want that business so we can get the good feelings from having that business. We want that relationship so we can get the good feelings from that relationship. We want that house so we can get the good feelings that come from that house. There is an unmet need in your life that you are trying fill.
None of these “wants” are bad in and of themselves.
The key is to know why.
There are business and sports club owners that leave money on the table everyday because they care more about an emotional need being met than being profitable. There are people who are losing relationally because their need is driving them to foolish behavior.
What would your life be like if you could tap into an eternal source? What would your life be like if you knew the need you were looking for? What if you let Jesus met that need like He said he would in John 7?
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3 ways to participate
Thanks for the feedback.
You email. You like on facebook. You retweet. You’re helping others.
I believe the message is bigger than me. And I’m passionate about sharing this message: You can live and lead from an overflowing wholeness. You can know your fears and see their power melt. You can feel God meeting the driving needs of your life. You can have a secure identity in Jesus. You can have clarity in your mission. You can attract community based on your clear mission.
You can invite Jesus into your pain rather than running from it. You can drop the pretense. You can live in a space where you have nothing to prove.
I love sharing with others how to get this life. So, I wanted to say thanks. Subscriptions to this blog are up 50%. More people are hearing the message. God willing, I will keep sharing the message. I want to let God build a movement through me that you can trust.
3 ways you can participate in the next phase:
1. There is someone you know that needs to come to the retreat I lead. Do you need to sponsor their way?
2. Email someone you know that would be helped by www.chrismcalister.com and have them check it out.
3. Pray. I’m reaching out to the world. More people are reaching back. I’m at a threshold. I’m wrestling through how to focus this movement for what’s next and I need your prayers.
Thanks for passing on to others what has benefitted you.
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honest about the bottom line
The greatest exercise/question for achieving clarity in your decision making is one word: why?
Why?
- Why do you want a relationship with them?
- Why do you want to make that purchase?
- Why do you want that job?
- Why do you want to see yourself that way?
- Why do you want others to think that way of you?
If/when you can answer that question then you can face the truth.
This is easier said the done. If you want to lead yourself and others with wisdom you must get brutally honest.
Knowing your motives will part the clouds of your confusion.
For part 2 I’ll share the motive that trips all of us.
Any questions you’d add to the list?
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I need to prove _____ -pt4
Who are you trying to prove yourself to?
Dang. This goes deep.
Many people try and push out an image to everyone. That’s what this is about: pt 1, pt 2, pt 3
But let’s explore this deeper.
Again, who are you trying to prove yourself to? Someone may come to mind.
I’ll tell you one group of people most of us want to prove ourselves…our parents.
What would you like your mom and/or dad to think about you? __________________
Why do you need them to think that way about you?
(In case some of you are tempted to check out there is no age restriction on this. Your parents may have passed away and you’re still dying to hear your dad say: “I love you. I am proud of you. I celebrate your presence. All your needs are never a bother and they are important to me.”)
For those of you that had negative experiences growing up maybe you need permission. Know that honoring your parents doesn’t mean you are enslaved to their brokenness and manipulation of you.
Can you receive the comfort of who you are in Jesus and let go of the need to prove something to your parents?
Enjoy.
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chasing
We’ve been talking about the identity we want to prove to others this week.
Proving is about pushing out who we want to be.
Proving is about our being.
We also chase.
Chasing is about our doing.
We chase meaning, impact, safety, acceptance, attention, and success. What are you chasing?
What if what you were chasing was trying to catch you?
Psalm 23:6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.Stop and receive from Christ what you are chasing after.
Thoughts?
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I need to prove _____ -pt3
pt 1: here
pt 2: here
You will be misjudged no matter what you do. You will be misunderstood no matter what you.
And yes, there is a time and a place for thinking strategically about how you come across to others.
But if you are not aware of the moments you are trying to prove something to others you will eventually begin to serve the image you are trying to portray rather than use of the occasional image to serve you.
I don’t complain every time I feel like it. I don’t share everything I think. Authenticity isn’t brutal honesty. Authenticity is knowing who you are and being comfortable in the acceptance of Christ, now.
Ask Jesus to help you apply the gospel or good news of what life can be like in Him. Ask Him to apply it to your sense of who you are or identity. Then receive as a child the way He works. Stop now. Bring this prayer: “Help me know who I am in you Jesus”. Wait.
Questions?
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I need to prove ______ -pt2
pt 1: here
What are you trying to prove?
(I feel like I need to add that there is a difference between making a case and insecurely needing to prove something. Sometimes you have to make a case to be known. Think of the Apostle Paul going off in the NT.)
You’re so tough? You really feel vulnerable. You push others way so they won’t hurt you.
You’re so smart? You really feel incompetent. You belittle others and their opinions so they won’t find out you’re afraid.
You’re so wild? You want to be accepted by your tribe. You don’t want them thinking you’re a stick in the mud. You don’t want to pigeon-holed or left out.
You’re so calm? You really feel anxious. You just don’t want anyone to know it.
When I’m around someone and they’re trying to prove something it usually means they don’t feel that way on the inside.
Ask God to help you become aware of what you’re trying to prove. I share my journey with you often. It’s freeing and helps me grow even more. Anybody want to share here?
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I need to prove ________
I will ask you this question often.
It is so powerful to open your awareness of where God is ready to work in your life and transform you into the Image of His Son.
What are you trying to prove?
I try to prove how busy, how competent, how driven I am. I also want to prove how I can handle lots of pressure. It’s easy for me to slip in comments about what I’ve done, what I’m doing, or what I’m going to do so I can impress you. Then you will hopefully reply, “Wow, you are so worthy.”
Jesus is ready to help me know on the inside what I want to prove on the outside.
Do you know what happens when I experience my worth in Jesus? My mind is free and clear to be in the moment with others and give out of an overflow. Conversationally I will still reference the doing of my life so I can experience being known by others. This shift allows the focus to be off me and on them.
What are you trying to prove? Ask Jesus to help you experience that need being met by Him, now. I’ll teach 6 people how to do that here. Early bird rate ends today.
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surprised by God -pt3
God isn’t out to punish you: pt1
God wants to be your friend: pt2
And He knows how to be the best kind of friend.
He wants to reassure you in the midst of your worry, tragedy, and challenges. He speaks with the most powerful kindness you have ever heard.
God encourages you.
Look at how much of His Word speaks to our fears and worries.
Hear Him say it to your soul, right now:
- I won’t ever leave you.
- I’ll take care of your needs. They are all important to me.
- I celebrate you.
- I’m glad you’re here.
- Your presence matters to me.
- I love how you are your own person.
- I won’t harm you.
- I love you regardless of your performance.
I could go on and on.
May you have eyes to see and ears to hear the kind of God you’ve dreamed about. Do you want this kind of life? I’ll see you here.
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Steve Jobs is my pastor
(From my www.churchwith.us post)
I understand the draw. He’s a seer. He gives a glimpse into the future. He sees truth about what we want before we know we want it.
And we need to pray for his health. Absolutely. But is he a model for Christian leadership?
With Steve’s announcement that he was retiring I watched with amazement as Christian leaders and pastors celebrated him as their model. Some commented on how they were going to try harder to be more like him in their leadership.
Yikes.
I’m not into deconstruction for deconstruction sake. First the problem and then the solution.
If a truth-driven CEO is our model for leadership here’s what younger pastoral leaders will begin to do:
- use their vision of what the church could be and should be like to run over people. The vision becomes an idol.
- use their adoption of practices from more advanced leaders to isolate themselves from people. The “I don’t do counseling” mantra becomes a justification for not giving what they don’t have.
- use their charisma to manipulate and miss God growing them through learning to wait. The fruit of the flesh is: get it now.
We have a better model. Christ came full of “grace and truth”
With a grace and truth vision we will
- lead with a strong and clear vision but maintain sensitivity to members of the community that have a different pace.
- lead appropriately for the phase and size of our church.
- lead in the tension of seizing opportunities and avoiding the Ishmael.
There are some staff members Jesus would fire because of their lack of performance. There are others He would be patient with. The Holy Spirit will lead us in our approach. Just because Steve Jobs would freak out that the stage design isn’t perfect doesn’t mean it’s ok for us to do so. Nor, is this an excuse for lack of quality.
Frankly, a laissez-faire attitude and lazy leadership left church leaders hungry for a model. We have sufficiently rejected the lack of tenacity and discipline of a timid leader but sadly this generation has overreacted by running to the other extreme.
Does your vision of leadership need more grace or more truth?